Understanding
… is like observing, looking at, determining, identifying, and evaluating.
If you do it well, it is also a reading, recording, and surveying of the whole.
We do not always understand everything, but we can train for it. So, we can also build a structure to understand ourselves and others better!
A good structure helps understanding others or yourself!
You need an overview of what you want to know and what you really want to hear 😉.
Because every action always results in a reaction. That means, you must be aware that every act also has a consequence.
Because what you perceive does not necessarily have to be correct. Because there is no such thing as „one“ perception. Since we are „limited“ in the ability to perceive all our senses, our conclusions are also mostly incomplete.
AND it is not about putting someone or yourself in a drawer, but rather getting to know the effect of your own behavior. Because ultimately you can only really understand someone or yourself if you compare your self-perception.
We are all fallible and can be wrong. So also orient yourself towards humility and patience, this will help you for a better understanding.
Concrete steps for a better understanding!
For yourself
- Open your perception and create transparency!
- Learn to be at ease!
- Find your right attitude (your own role, your attitude towards the situation and towards the other person)
- Use tools such as
- 4 sites of a message (model by Schulz von Thun) to check yourself out!
- Active listening, this helps you build relationships and perceive feelings!
- Be interested in yourself!
- Look deep inside you and break cover!
- Take responsibility for yourself and your actions!
- …
For your opposite
- Identify yourself with your counterpart!
- Listen to the voice, the mood, and the overall charisma!
- Find out what attitude your counterpart has and what is important to him / her!
- Use techniques like
- Ask, demand, summarize!
- Be courageous and make assumptions, but please be respectful, appreciative, preferably with I-messages!
- Show real interest. That means no questions or pushing if you do not have the time or interest. That is counterproductive!
- …
There are many possible steps to practice understanding. And that is exactly what it is about. Do not let up, practice, and concentrate on your path and the steps that will help you to move forward. Then reconcile this in a good conversation with your counterpart. If problems have turned into solutions, then you are on the right track!
I wish you all the best!
And if it does not work out, be patient with yourself! Or come to me, I will be happy to help!
