… has a lot to do with sovereignty and self-confidence.
If we get to the root of our good intention and thus our inner behavior, we have a good chance of getting out of wrath, fear, and insecurity.
Sometimes we stumble from one step to the other and do not see exactly where it should or can go.
Our good intention behind it is often hidden, not only for ourselves, but often also for those around us.
We then hear ourselves say sentences like:
- „Why didn’t I say this or that?“
- „If only I had, …!“
- „In retrospect, I know I would have reacted better that way …!“
- „… I am flabbergasted at the reaction ?!“
- „Damn it, now he’s thinking again … about me!“
It annoys us!
And yet it scratches our sovereignty, our self-confidence, and our desire not always to be the victim! We fall back and must pull ourselves up out of this hole again! Or we get angry and go into resistance and with that we offend our counterpart again. We may even slip into the role of persecutor and blame the other.
So, we end up in a vicious circle that revolves around the thought of guilt.
Your guilt -> my fault -> he is to blame -> it takes someone guilty -> your guilt …
- that person
Tackle it, your inner communication behavior and your good intention
There is a great way to change this inner disruptive communication behavior – here are a few tips.
Ask yourself the following questions, or even better, have a good friend ask you. Because then you can concentrate on it with your eyes closed and in peace:
- Think about the inner behavior that bothers you and that you want to change
- Now think of a recent situation in which you acted like this
- When you have found that, try to find out which image you see, which sound you hear. Also try to feel how your body reacted
- Now welcome what you feel, see, and hear … because it belongs to you
- Now ask yourself from what age this part in you comes and also ask him what good intention is behind it for you
- Appreciate this good intention! This is important because this is the only way to get out of the vicious circle.
- Now tell him what behavior you would like to have instead!
- Also ask that part of you what it needs to bring this new behavior to life
- Now you have to tell him whether you are ready and how much you are ready to fill the new behavior with life
- You may still need to negotiate to find alternatives for future situations
- Finally, say goodbye to him and arrange a new contact in the near future
I am happy to help you, just get in touch with me!